The Cricket season is over for the winter but Keith has sent us his take on the cricket world as he looks back on the trials of the covid-blighted season…..
As the sun slid over the equator and the Autumn Equinox closed the curtain on another covid cricket stage, the players could reflect on what the 2021 season had taught them:-
1. When changing rooms are closed, it’s easier getting changed at home than in the front seat of a Reliant Robin.
2. Don’t play in the rain. When play is suspended and you are wet, you will have to sit in your car. The seat will get wet and the windows will steam up.
3. Don’t drink too much at lunchtime as the toilets may not be open and 2.5 hours in the field in a chilly wind will seem a long time.
4. Don’t leave your packed tea in the sun on the back seat of the car; the ice cream will melt.
5. Hit 4s and 6s so you don’t run around more than you have to. The showers will probably be closed.
6. The umpire will not hold your sweater when you are bowling so check you can tie the arms round your waist with a reef knot.
7. If you put too much hand sanitiser on you will drop the next catch; if you don’t put enough on you may be in quarantine for 10 days and miss 2 games.
8. When fielding, only rub sanitiser on the shiny side of the ball. This will help it swing.
9. Nobody knows what rule covers the ball hitting the sanitiser bottle parked behind the stumps so be prepared for an argument.
10. Leaping in the air, arms aloft, staring at the umpire from more than 2 metres away and whispering “ how is that” through a mask, looks, and sounds, daft.
If people stop encouraging the spread of the virus we hoped to be back to normal next season
– but, just to keep us on our toes, the MCC announced on 22nd September that “batsmen” will no longer be part of the game. Charity shops became full of cricket bats only, days later, to have queues of cricketers trying to buy them back when it was realised that “batters” (cricketers holding bats) would replace them.
The price of flour in the shops doubled as word got out that the change of name was in honour of the great Yorkshire “batterer” ‘Arry Ramsden. Yorkshire Cricket Club’s one day side became known as the “Yorkshire Puddings”and recipe books flew off the shelves as cricketers sought to discover new techniques before their opponents did.
If you want to be part of our 2022 production then please contact:
Roger Beese 01453-823128. (bookings and ticket sales),
Paul Hancock 01452-720960 (Director), or Keith Dench (Producer) 01453-764990.